One day, not so long ago, I was burned out from working on a movie, and trying to recover by lying down on a couch to read some mindless fiction. But I kept hearing this voice saying, “What are you doing on the couch? You should be looking for your next gig! You should be revising your resume, you should be out networking, you should be cleaning the house, you should be figuring out how to make more money…” Perhaps you’ve heard this voice? It’s not very restful.

I was talking to a friend about how frustrated I was that my energy was sapped, when I needed to get going on future projects and ambitions and achievements, and she asked gently, “Is this working for you?”

I stopped, mind officially blown. What kind of question was that? I was On My Way, on a Career Path, heading to Success, checking off a list of Achievements.

I breathed for a moment. And thought. Or rather checked in with my gut instinct, which is much more likely to bring me the truth.

No, I realized, “This” was not working for me. “This” being a lifestyle of multi-tasking, hyper productivity, constantly striving to be Better, to do More, to have More, to achieve More. In fact, “this” was exhausting the heck out of me, draining me mentally, physically and emotionally. I was not, in short, having fun.

But what else was there? I wondered.

I asked myself, “What is the opposite of Work Harder?” Certainly not “Work Smarter,” which is just another form of pressure: figuring out what “smart” is and deciding whether what I’m doing now is “smarter” than what I was doing before. No, being “smarter” or “more productive” is still a voice in my head constantly badgering: asking, yelling, judging whether I’m being Smart Enough, Fast Enough, Tough Enough or Productive Enough.

So that left the true opposite of Harder: “Softer.”

On to Part II

Related posts:

1. The Idea behind “Be Softer” – Part II
2. Welcome to Be Softer!
3. Soft Launch with Soft Goodies Contest!