The last few days have been a case study in living softer. A week ago I decided I wanted to try out a new format for Be Softer, so I installed some new software. Unfortunately, this had the unforeseen effect of taking down the current blog! Sorry if you were checking in for up-to-the-minute news in being softer!

As I was about to head out of town for a few days when it happened, there was literally nothing for me to do except accept that the site would be down for that time. And it’s taken me another couple of days to fix the issue.

But I resisted the urge to freak out. In fact, my first reaction was laughter at the enforced softness after my trying to squeeze in “just one more thing” right before travelling. One of my realizations over the week has been that Be Softer isn’t a site that requires urgency on anyone’s part. Me stressing out about posting daily clearly is not part of the Be Softer way.

And I know all too well what it is to have an RSS feeder that is constantly letting me know that I have over 1000 messages to read from blogs about decluttering and minimizing and simplifying! I don’t need to add to someone else’s “must” list!

So I will indeed be reorganizing the site over the coming weeks to create a space for resources and ideas, that can be accessed on an as-desired basis, rather than required daily reading (and posting). In the meantime, I will continue to post ideas and links here in the blog, and still welcome your feedback. And I’ll create a forum to make the site a place where everyone can share their knowledge, experience and soft places and people they’ve come across.

Thanks for sharing in this experiment with me!

(Continued from Part I)

Whoa. “Work Softer.” What would that look like? And what if I don’t want to be working at everything all the time? How about just Being? Be Softer. Enjoy a Softer Life. Yes please. Yum.

Almost immediately though, I felt guilty. (Ah Guilt, the charming companion to The Badger*). Who was I to live a softer life? Life is hard. “Everyone knows that.” And if I decided to have a softer life, what about all the people in the world who truly do have hard lives? And what about the planet? Wouldn’t having a soft life mean being totally reckless and greedy and disregarding environmental impact? That’s not what I meant, that’s not what I was after. Could I create a concept of Being Softer that went beyond myself?

I hope so. That’s my experiment here. To find a way to be Softer with myself (gentler), Softer to others (kinder), and Softer on the planet (greener). In short, doing my part to create a softer world, where everyone can experience a softer life.

Interested? Let’s try it together. See what happens. See if, as the coked-up inner Badger warns us, the world crumbles, nothing gets done, we’re taken advantage of, and we end up on the street. Or, as I believe, we end up way less stressed out — calmer, happier, healthier, more peaceful, more content, having more fun, more in touch with the world and universe — and able to pass along all those poz vibes to others.

I’ll be offering techniques, thoughts (my own and others’), resources, suggestions, experiments to try, and opportunities to share your own experiences and findings. I look forward to playing and seeking softness with you!

* Martha Beck calls this our prehistoric “Lizard Brain” sending out constant messages of fear. Julia Cameron calls it our Inner Critic. Some religions call it Illusion.

One day, not so long ago, I was burned out from working on a movie, and trying to recover by lying down on a couch to read some mindless fiction. But I kept hearing this voice saying, “What are you doing on the couch? You should be looking for your next gig! You should be revising your resume, you should be out networking, you should be cleaning the house, you should be figuring out how to make more money…” Perhaps you’ve heard this voice? It’s not very restful.

I was talking to a friend about how frustrated I was that my energy was sapped, when I needed to get going on future projects and ambitions and achievements, and she asked gently, “Is this working for you?”

I stopped, mind officially blown. What kind of question was that? I was On My Way, on a Career Path, heading to Success, checking off a list of Achievements.

I breathed for a moment. And thought. Or rather checked in with my gut instinct, which is much more likely to bring me the truth.

No, I realized, “This” was not working for me. “This” being a lifestyle of multi-tasking, hyper productivity, constantly striving to be Better, to do More, to have More, to achieve More. In fact, “this” was exhausting the heck out of me, draining me mentally, physically and emotionally. I was not, in short, having fun.

But what else was there? I wondered.

I asked myself, “What is the opposite of Work Harder?” Certainly not “Work Smarter,” which is just another form of pressure: figuring out what “smart” is and deciding whether what I’m doing now is “smarter” than what I was doing before. No, being “smarter” or “more productive” is still a voice in my head constantly badgering: asking, yelling, judging whether I’m being Smart Enough, Fast Enough, Tough Enough or Productive Enough.

So that left the true opposite of Harder: “Softer.”

On to Part II